So sad...and then NOT

So working as a pediatric RN, you have to deal with patients who up and leave the hospital in an inspiring new state of health. I love those moments--when I tell them, "See you at the mall, at the park...anywhere but here. Don't come back!" But you have to deal with dying patients as well. I thought that by now, I can handle seeing little kids die and that I've learned not to take work home with me.

But this year has been awfully hard. There have been so many deaths of some of my favorite patients at work. Today, there is a viewing for one of them. At first, I thought I was gonna go..it just seemed natural. But I'm tired of crying, and I felt like I already had my closure when I said good-bye to this sweet little girl on her death bed and as I hugged and kissed her parents. I feel guilty and selfish, but I don't think it would do me any good going, and I'm sure that the family know I have them in my thoughts and prayers. I still feel horrible...

To make myself feel better, I found this on DBird's blog, and I LOVE, LOVE filling out surveys! So here goes some info people won't otherwise know about moi:

1. When Gil and I sleep at night, we don't fall asleep touching each other (I think it has to do with comfort, and/or maybe the heat). But I love it when he or I wake up in the middle of the night, and he puts his hand on my arm or face, and I do the same. It's such a tender act of love. It reminds me of that one line in a commercial: "With every waking moment, love grows." (Yes, you will find this as a title in one of my scrapbooking lay-outs soon!) Corny, I know!!



2. I have many moles, especially on the left side of my face. I actually don't mind them..I think it gives me distinctive features. I told you I like all things unique!

3. I have a tendency to say "umm, you know" when I talk. I don't know but sometimes, I forget words that I'm trying to say. Maybe it has something to do with getting older or maybe because English was my second language?? Who knows? I'm so freaking annoyed by it though.

4. I'm actually only 1/16th Chinese. I get so mad when people say, "But you don't look Filipino!" I'm Filipino (Dammmittt!!) with some Chinese and Spanish.

5. I don't like drinking soda out of a can but I'm cool with drinking it out of a bottle. But my ideal is to drink it through a straw in a glass filled with ice! *thinking about yummy Diet Dr. Pepper!*

6. I love to bowl, though I'm not very good. I think I broke a hundred once. I'd love to try glow-in-the-dark bowling!!

7. I enjoy making lists. Maybe because I love to write and try out different handwritings. Or maybe because I love to be determined. There's nothing like checking off that box for "paying bills" or "washing dishes." One time, my friend and I were in a class for work, and she saw me write out a list of my "things to do when I get home." She took my notes and wrote out, "get a life" and "poo." *LOL* I started laughing!!!

8. I was never a fifth grader. I skipped it and went straight to sixth from the fourth grade. I was a super nerd!! And proud of it!:)