Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Remembrance.



Good morning, everyone!

I am doing pretty good with my goal of posting here three times a week. These last couple of weeks have been pretty difficult though as far as crafting and blogging as my two kiddies have been sick.

First, Mattie and now, Oli :(. In fact, I am home from work because Oliver still has a bad cough and fevers. The last two nights (& my hubby, the night before those) have been spent sleeping upright on our couch with the babe on my chest or in my arms. My back is killing me, especially since work has also been really busy.

But you gotta do what you have to do. In this case, I would just about do anything to have my baby back to his normal, jolly, healthy self. Holding him comforts him and allows him to breath better. I think he's starting his way to recovery though...cross your fingers.

Anyway, for my card today, I made a sympathy/ support card for someone dear to my heart. I have to warn you though that my post here will get more somber so I'd understand if you stop reading here.


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I made this card to show sympathy but also hope to my darling friend who just had a miscarriage. She and her DH were trying for a short while, and was ecstatic when they got pregnant. Only the pregnancy was cut short and left my friend devastated.

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I wanted to make her a card and fill it with words to make her feel better, even though I know that nothing I or anybody else could take the pain away. I also wanted to be there for her in another way for I had gone through the same thing years before.

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I also suffered a miscarriage right after our wedding in 2008. I wrote about the loss vaguely in my post here so you may remember it if you had been following my blog for awhile.

It was hard for me to talk about it here. I was still grieving, and I also thought it shouldn't be discussed in such a public place. But now, years later, I have coped with it and would hope that my experience would somehow help another person.

How I longed to talk about with someone else. It's sort of a taboo topic. Some don't consider a pregnancy that early (mine was 6 weeks) a baby yet. People told me I was lucky that it happened early, that it was just 'mother nature,' that it was not meant to be. I know they meant well and that they were right. But it was still painful and horrible for me. At the time, there were a lot of couples having 'honeymoon babies' as well. I didn't even know how much we wanted a baby until we lost her/ him.

A colleague had shared her story with me a couple of years ago. She said letting balloons go helped. I also read about planting plants. I think giving it closure is easier when you do these things.

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I got together with my dear friend, and we wrote letters to our angels. Mattie helped me by drawing around the paper. We tied them to the end of balloons that my friend bought.

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I chose a paper that had stars because the event was altogether not a sad one for me. It symbolized hope for my friend and I, and sort of see-you-later. My friend believed in reincarnation. And we both believe in angels and that things happen for a reason.

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We lit candles, and I said a prayer I found on the internet for my friend. It was also for me. We took pictures and let the balloons fly.

**Note: we found out later that these balloons were the wrong ones for this. They are not safe for the environment, and often go down and get tied to electric wires. What I really wanted to use were those tissue-paper lantern balloons that are lit up with candles - used in the movie "Tangled."

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It was an emotional but joyous feeling to watch those balloons and letters fly. For me, I finally had some closure and was glad I got to memorialize the baby lost from my first pregnancy. I highly recommend doing this not just for miscarriages but for any type of loss you encounter.

My friend wrote me a note of thanks, and we will both cherish this day.

Thanks so much for listening. Hugs to you all!


9 comments:

Hanneke said...

I am sorry to hear the sad news. I love what you did and the card you made for your friend to show she has someone who cares and is there for her. Hugs, Hanneke

Creations by Shirl said...

Aww Rinne this just touched my heart.... What a sad thing to hear, your card you made is just too precious and love those touchy moments you encountered......

Trina said...

Sometimes people don't know what to say but feel like they have say something. Usually not a good idea... You are a great friend and have no idea how many people can relate to you right now.

sweet said...

Rinne: thanks for sharing... So many women are faced with this and it helps to hear others stories! I wish your friend well and you did such a lovely gesture. Hope the kiddies get better soon!

KanataNewf said...

Oh Rinne. I am sure your dear friend will appreciate your card. I am truly sorry for the loss you have both suffered.

Cathy Pascual said...

So sorry to hear the sad news and of your previous loss. sending hugs to you!

Lisa said...

What a beautiful post, Rinne, and a beautiful thing you did for your friend. I'm sorry for her loss and yours as well. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Lisa
indymermaid.blogspot.com

jo (http://joboogie.typepad.com) said...

Hugs! That was such a kind and caring thing you did for your friend! I'm sure she appreciated it so much!

Mandee said...

So beautiful! Thank you for sharing this with me!
xoxo ~Mandee